"All the world's a stage..."

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.                                        

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…

So, I have reached yet another awful rite of passage this weekend; My first broken heart.(It really sucks.lol)

While it lasted, I turned into one of “those” people- the ones that are joined at the hip with their significant other, never without them if they could help it, and always thinking about them. Everyone knew us, we were so good together. Then one night, in a very public way, all the built up tension of tiny fractures blew up in my face. 

Now(MUCH TO MY LAMENT), I’m “that” girl. The girl who everyone is afraid to be happy around, the girl who nobody smiles at, the girl who lost “that” guy. The girl who wasn’t afraid to beg behind closed doors to stave off a broken heart (and I did). It’s hard because I can’t get away and playing it off isn’t coming as easily as it has in the past. I’ve gone through break-ups before and they hurt, but none quite like this. 

Everyday when I leave my apartment, I walk passed the ruins of it all. Tip toe lightly over the shattered pieces and try to forget that I have to pick them up eventually. Peace eludes me but I have the strange confidence that I will find it again. I keep praying that God will put me back together and keep my world from falling apart all at once, but he’s got a strange sense of humor so we’ll see what happens.

…and all the King’s horses, and all the King’s men, couldn’t put Humpty together again.

Birthday Wishes…

So today is my 20th birthday and my sister’s 18th! It’s been almost two years since I got on here but I’m inspired to write again :)

No profound thoughts or rationalizations tonight, just the simple birthday wishes of an Adult.lol

I want world peace and all that but it’s my Birthday so I’ll be a little selfish. There are lots of things I could wish for: wealth, beauty, a boyfriend, a degree, a career, bla bla… But those things would only satisfy me temporarily. What I really wish for, is to be satisfied with who I am and come next birthday: I can REALLY wish for world peace instead of my instant gratification :)

If only, If only…

P.S> Hello again Tumblr People :)

what is it THEY say?

He was a boy.

I was a girl.

We met, were together a year and 3 months.

He fell in love with me.

I was amused by him.

I didn’t love him.

We broke up.

Seven months later.

He’s always on my mind.

I’m always on his mind.

He misses me.

I miss him.

He knows me.

I know him.

…he has a girlfriend.

I live a thousand miles away.

I guess its true what they say, “what goes around comes around”. “Paybacks a B***H” and “Life comes full circle”… GUESS I’M “s**t outa luck”.

…awkward…

ANyways, so I’m home for spring break and I’m home alone today because everyone is at work or school. Its just me and my poodle. SO I’m on the family laptop checking my many channels of communication when I decide to check my Inbox on a dating website I am registered at.

All is well until I get to the homepage and see that there is Another name in the Username slot…my moms.

I don’t know which is worse: the fact that I am on the same dating site as my mom, or that we are both looking for a “mature” relationship.lol

There’s nothing quite like it

Like Giving up your worries and your stressers, if only for just one moment, one night alone in your room. Blasting music, singing along at the top of your lungs-no inhibitions, no audience, no worries.

Its better than a good cry. lol. Try it, the best kind of medicine is laughing at yourself.

Hakuna Mattata Everybody!

iVacaciones! (English: Vacation!)

Spring Break is a Trick! Sure they give us a week off, but they make sure to Bury us in Homework and Exams all the way up to break and all the way after. Payback. Grr.

Still, we gladly except for that one week. It all pays off when we get to where we want to be, doesnt it?

Spring Break Plans anybody? How do you plan to make all that work worth it?

Don’t mind me…

I just do these blog things becuase its a nice way to vent or just say something to get it out. Its a good outlet, so more random thoughts:

I am sort of seeing this guy, a really nice guy but we aren’t dating and we aren’t just friends. I see him a lot lately and we really enjoy being around eachother and we have talked about getting together but we are both coming out of less than ideal times and want to take things slow, but things are progressing really well. Like last night, we are texting(like always) and I mention that I can’t sleep. Next thing I know, he’s on the phone singing me to sleep. A lullaby that is really really sweet that I’ve never heard before. And of course he’s no Josh Groban but its beautiful nontheless. And I caught myself thinking, I could really fall for this guy.

But then I think about my ex and how things worked out and it makes me wonder if I’m not good enough for him. He’s a sweet guy, fun and mature and all those good things. I’d hate to think that if I were to get any closer to him, he’d get too close and I’d run again. Thats what I do, and thats not self loathing or a cry for help speaking up- its just fact.

Because I am me, am I good enough for him? What to do?